My Faith Journey

As many folks growing up, I wanted nothing to do with my faith.  Rather, I wanted everything the world had to offer.  I’m a cradle Catholic and went to Catholic K-12.  But, I wouldn’t be able to recite one thing I’ve learned during that time (other than memorized prayers).  When I got older and out of school, I would get challenged from time to time by friends on my Catholic beliefs or behavior.  Some friends had left the church to become Protestant.  Others just didn’t do church.  Deep down, I had much respect for the ones that turned Protestant because they were living what looked to be a good Christian life.  I’ll never forget the time when my non-church friends and I were having beers around a camp fire and one good friend asked me “why do Catholics worship Mary?  I mean, why do you say the words Hail Mary”?  I just shrugged my shoulders in ignorance.  Why I can remember that question on that night, but can’t remember 12 years of religion class, I do not know.  But this is the backdrop of my journey until about age 37.

Do Over

Around year 2000.  As I was spending a lot of time studying for an exam. I made a promise to God that I would spend the same amount of time learning about Him. Moving forward a few weeks, I passed the exam.  I was feeling grateful and was looking forward to learning more about my faith.  Lent was approaching and a Bible study program at Church was offered.  That was my queue, so I signed up. There was an expectation of getting Biblical answers for all the nuances of the Catholic faith.  However, this class was more of a Lenten/reflection type study. I did find opportunities to ask questions though such as “why do Catholics give up meat on Fridays during lent?”  I didn’t get any confident answers. There were other questions but still no clear answers.  I was starting to think my answers couldn’t be found, at least in a way that I would understand.  I had a few friends that left the Catholic Church and went Protestant.  They are good people.  I was wondering if they went through something similar.  I started to think, when you get serious about God, you go Protestant.  After all, they seemed to be able to repeat Bible verses better than most Catholics that I know.  The more I pondered it, the more the idea of finding a new Church became exciting to me.  I could grill ribeyes any night I want during Lent!  I wouldn’t have to go to confession and worry about holy days of obligation.  And, I could find a church with a decent worship band and join them.  It would be easier and maybe even more fun.  Sure, I realize now how self serving that sounds but at the time, I had decided in my mind and heart that I wanted a change.  I was just living life for myself while trying to check the minimum number of boxes for Heaven.

I came from a Catholic family.  My Mom and Dad are very spiritual, and very Catholic.  It’s really all I’ve ever known up to this point.  I knew my Mom and Dad would be very hurt by me leaving the Catholic Church.  But, they are very loving and understanding parents.  I really thought they would feel ok with this IF I can explain to them how it’s for the best.  This meant I really needed to dig into the Bible and history to understand both sides.

The Book

I talked to  Mom and Dad along with a few other people about this.  The first piece of info I received was an anti-Catholic book.  I got this from a good person that I love and trust and who left the Catholic Church long ago.  I don’t remember the title or the author but It was a good introduction into the “big debate” (from a Protestant perspective).  In very simple form, it read “Catholic Church teaches this…” (on the left page), and “Bible says this…” (on the right page).  To quote Hank Hanegraaff (author, apologist and host of the Protestant talk show “The Bible Answer-man”) who put it so perfectly: “all too often, in this debate, people setup straw men, and knock them down”.  Meaning that people will make an exaggerated statement of an opposing view on an issue, then contradict it with a simple statement that may or may not be correct (not too different than politics today).  Anyway, that’s the only way I can describe this book.  It was a caricature of the Catholic Church vs this man’s interpretation of cherry-picked bible verses.  It did not have the intended effect on me.  In fact it had the opposite.  I was still Catholic so this book made me feel like I was under attack.  I am however, glad to get that Protestant perspective on how some of them view Catholics and the Church.  I’ve had friends challenge me in the past but never anything like this book.  I was frustrated, confused and maybe a little worried that there might be some truth to this book.  Then I pondered, that since knowledgable adults have fought over this for centuries, maybe we are too far removed from the actual truth to even know what God wants anymore. After a calming period of a few days, I had asked myself two really dumb questions.  “What Christian Church was here first?”, and “Did Jesus establish a Church?”  Maybe that anti-Catholic book had the desired effect after all.  It got me asking the right questions.  At this point, I wasn’t educated enough to discern good from bad theology.  I still hadn’t found a good Catholic perspective on anything.  So, I needed to know what Church had more credibility.   A quick internet search (followed up by a secular encyclopedia search) gave me the shocking news that the list of Popes goes all the way back to the apostle Peter.  Another quick search told me that Protestantism began in the early 1500s.  In addition, there was an Eastern Orthodox Church that split with the Catholic Church around 1080 AD.  I didn’t get into all the reasons behind the split and the reformation just yet.  I just remember feeling relieved that I had answered my first question.  This was definitely a point in the Catholic column. Soon after that, I discovered Matt 16:18-19 where Jesus establishes a Church and makes Peter the leader.  Question #2 answered.

The Tape

Not long after this, my Mom and Dad came over and paid me a visit.  They handed me a home-made, copy of a copy of a copy cassette tape.  They said, “listen to this”.  I said, “I’ll have to convert it to CD, but ok”.  So in the car, on the way to work the next morning.  I popped in the newly burned CD and started listening.

Meet Dr. Scott Hahn. A Protestant Pastor, Bible scholar, Professor at Dominion Theological Institute, and self proclaimed extreme anti-Catholic who proudly led hundreds if not thousands away from the Catholic Church.  What I was listening to was his conversion story, TO Catholicism.  In just minutes, my heart was pounding and I thought, FINALLY!  A Catholic perspective from someone who knows what they’re talking about!  AND, he’s the last person to have a pro-Catholic bias! He had been offered a post as Dean of the Dominion Theological Institute in McLean, VA in at the age of 26 but instead, gave up everything he had worked for his entire life to become Catholic and start over.  To go from a bright, promising future as an anti-Catholic, to BECOMING Catholic and giving up that future, there had to be some real compelling reasons.

Scott already knew his Bible verses backwards and forwards.  Then he started reading the early Church Fathers such as Ignatius of Antioch (who was a disciple of the apostle John).  Scott began to see more of the context that these early fathers understood scripture and the role of the church.  At first he thought they just got lucky and stumbled onto the truth on this point or that.  But, with every new discovery, things got more and more real (chilling, as Scott said).  On point after point, he saw that the Catholics actually got it right.  He saw how the Church used the Old Testament to give more meaning to the New.  It’s called “typology”.  St. Augustine states: The New Testament is concealed in the old, and the Old Testament is revealed in the new.

One day, out of curiosity, Scott made the wonderful mistake of attending mass.  Just in a small basement chapel during a weekday. He took his seat in the back row as a spectator and had his open Bible in hand.  There is way too much detail of his experience to unravel here.  But suffice to say, he was surprised.  Surprised at how scriptural everything was from the very start of mass.  Surprised that it resembled how the early Church fathers worshiped in the first few centuries.  Moving from the liturgy of the Word to the liturgy of the Eucharist, Scott describes the words that he was hearing from the Priest.  They were the words I had heard and most every week of my life.  Except for him, they were jumping off the pages of the book of Revelation.  These verses were the ones that were “un-highlighted”.  Lamb of God is mentioned 28 times in 22 chapters, yet that didn’t mean much to him until he connected the dots.  He saw how crucial it was, in the Old Testament Passover, to eat the lamb in order to be saved.  How much more true in the New Testament Passover.  Jesus timed His crucifixion to happen precisely at the feast of Passover so the old covenant Passover would be fulfilled.  His words at the last supper, “do this in memory of me” instituted the new covenant Passover.  Jesus was also very clear about the importance of this in John chapter 6.  After seeing the Eucharist at mass, through the lenses of the Old Testament and the early Church Fathers, Scott’s desire to become Catholic became very strong, even though it meant giving up his highly successful career and creating much turbulence in his marriage.

After my hour plus walk through Scott’s conversion story, his epiphany became my epiphany.  I spent the next 4 years, not listening to music, but immersing myself in talk after talk after talk from Scott and many other converts like him.  I also listened to a ton of Catholic AM talk radio (Catholic Answers Live).  Not only hearing answers to all the other false claims about the Church, but finding all the beauty and understanding about a real, familial relationship with God.  A relationship that finally makes sense to me.  It’s through Baptism that I am an adopted son of God’s holy family.  I have a Heavenly Father, Mother and brothers and sisters in Christ and the saints.  This is something I can relate to because I am also a father, and a son, and a brother to my earthly family with whom I love very much.  In this context, I can begin to love, live and understand my Heavenly family, where God’s love is perfect.  I don’t see this in the Protestant faiths.  I love and respect my Protestant brothers and sisters very much but with them, it seems to be just about me and Jesus.  That’s a simple message, and there’s a lot to be said for simplicity.  However, I don’t see the Heavenly family-love aspect.  I don't see the practice of the new Passover, which was extremely important to Jesus (and also important to many early church fathers like Ignatius of Antioch, etc).  I don't see “one, holy, catholic and apostolic”.  I know the Church has been through some hard times, but Matt:23 makes it clear that God works through chosen people to convey His truth.  Even if some of those leaders choose to be sinful, the Holy Spirit protects God’s teachings that are conveyed either by word of mouth or by letter (2 Thes 2:15).  To say the Catholic Church teaches a false gospel, would be to say that the Holy Spirit failed.  But, Jesus promised “the gates of hell will not prevail against it” (Matt 16:18).

Living Catholic

After many bible studies, conferences and talks since then,  I am at peace knowing without a doubt that I’m following what Christ instituted.  Ironically, I learned the bulk of my faith from converts.  Maybe this is by design because I feel now that the Protestant’s love for scripture, combined with the Catholic sacramental life is the best of both worlds.  The “menu with the meal” as Dr. Hahn says.  Today, I am involved to the OCIA (formerly RCIA) group in my church, helping people to discern becoming Catholic.  My aim is to keep learning more about my Catholic faith, not only to share with the OCIA people coming into the Church every year, but also to help cradle Catholics like me understanding the beauty and riches we already have.

You have an open invitation. All you need to do is say yes.